somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
