Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
