My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
