I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They took my balls.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The adults are the big ones right?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
