shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
