But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
