guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
4 words: hood of his car
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
