There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didn't notice because vodka
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
