STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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