bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
