Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
