Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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