If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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