girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
