Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
