So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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