I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
