My sheets look like a crime scene.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
