I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
