I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Say something about gay babies.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
