seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
