I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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