Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
