She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
