Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
