just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
