is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
