You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
