I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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