i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
