But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
