I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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