I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
