toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
