so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
