ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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