its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
