Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
