And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
