ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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