brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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