Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The Olympian is in my bed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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