ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
