even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
