Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
