YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
