I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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