Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
