dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
