she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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