it was like eating out sand paper
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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